Oh so NY.

yeaaaa.

bout to leave soon.

as i told y'all got the conference coming up.

but i am going for a lil vacay.

soooooo gon be chillin with my boys from school.

then visiting my fam in manhattan.

then off to the conference.

anywho.

as i gave you the rundown.

100 black men member.

blah blah

i was chosen to represent my chapter.

yea yea.

bomb ass hotel.

what not.

ok.

told you that.

i shall be lazy and link you all

the agenda so you can awe at the shit im bout to get into.

100 Black Men Conference Agenda

mean time,

in between time,

i'll update y'all with the parties N' bullshit.

later.

Lampin'

yup.

out in DC today for a day of shopping.

had to get some dress clothes for my trip to NY.

which i haven't told most of y'all bout.

so how bout now!

well.

i am a member of the Collegiate 100 Black Men of America.

the national conference is in Times square this yr. due the the fact that a member is the owner of the ave. of americas Hilton.

yea. all expense paid trip to represent my school.

continental breakfast.

Suites.

Concerts.

Venues( Nike, fortune 500 company seminars)

this shit is going to be craazzzzzyy.

i'll create a post before i leave and of course have pics and blog and itinerary for my week and a half in NY!!!!

so anyways back to what i was saying before.

had to get clothes.

copped a burberry shirt, burberry sweater, j.crew shirt, and a polo shirt.

couple ties.

cleaned my suits.

and while in DC.

had to check cmonwealth, and palace 5ive.

copped a snapback hundreds.

few shirts.

placed some hits for some shoes.

and strolled round chinatown.

nice treat to myself.

for being myself.

but all in all,

nothing major.

day of lampin'

*SIDENOTE*

but june 6th.

im yeezy campin'

buhlee dat.

Well then.

Soo. i think im going to start watchin tv again.

thanks to this sexy 55 inch plasma HD TV.

alllriiiggghhhttt.

would look good with a PS3 on the deck.

any ladies care for a movie night in?

^_^

HOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMEEEEE!

yes.

i can smell the air.

walk around my house barefooted.

take a shower without flipflops

25/8/366 cafe.

free laundry.

this is what home feels like.

SCORE!

CINCO DE DRUNKO!!!!!!

whoooooooppppp!

happy cinco de Mayo....i mean DRUNKO!!!!!!

OW OWWW!.

ok yea. anyways.

been drinking since 4:00.

sooo yes.

still kinda drunk.

but got these coronoasssssssss.

bout to get gone!

and probably do nothing.

since it is a tuesday.

tried to get some of oprahs chicken.

F A I L.

ok. bye.

Working Class Hero.

so. i'm going to be brief.

been job hunting.

already have two jobs.

but i get bored easily.

and i have a method of madness to crave my fashionable tastes.

so one job for savings.

one job for a car.

and another just for frivolous shit.

shouldn't be too bad.

and no. you cannot borrow any money.

^_^

sooo. yea.

well hello there.

kinda been a while.

ready to finish up school.

last week was preeeettty eventful.

got hammered.

got numbers.

same ol' shit.

just a good ol' time.

anyways.

picked up some new clothes as well.

just rambling right about now.

giving you a quick rundown of the past 2 weeks.

sooo now that your caught up.

and as i finish finals.

i get to sit. till may 10.

i start finals on monday.

so i guess that'll give me time to blog to whoever follows/reads/infatuates over.

wtf.

deuces!

Darkest Before Dawn.

well.

posting a rant.

got a kid who i sold sneaks to saying he NEVER got them.

confirmed they were picked up in his spot.

sent money.

so idk what the fuck is going on.

least to say im done with selling. just shows i should keep my shit.

cause either his shit got jacked/mixed up and me being me,

i'm coming out of the fucking pocket. again.

next up.

school.

these last three weeks. are too fucking slow.

teachers is blowin' the shit outta me.

weary about my grades.

get some good weather, motherfuckers dont know how to act.

also idk if im going to summerschool now.

moving along...

Girls.

still no sex.

NEXT.

etc.

still aint got my damn refund check. after almost 3 months( i put my shit in the day i got it)

ummm. have to pay a ANOTHER ticket from ANOTHER VA crooked ass cop.

my mother. is stressting the shit outta me. her being sick, naive, and stubborn.

is going thru the same symptoms that took my grandfather.

he passed at 64.

my mom is 42.

so. i try to stay positive.

but shit. she's seen her potential future thru my grandfather.

why is she doing the same shit now.

she wont tell me anything.

continues to act as if she is invincible.

i hate to be negative, but i call it real.

hope she makes it to my graduation.

and i hope im not a fatherless and motherless son.

speaking of fathers.

i still hate mine.

he's officially lost it.

lost all his marbles.

im going to fuck that nigga up.

point. blank. period.

and here i am.

sitting at this school.

a fucking one man army.

cause i cant do shit for no one but me nowadays.

but. i can vent on a computer so people i dont know,

some i do,

know that i am going thru some shit.

some see it as much, some not.

guess some need to breakdown and vent sometime.

heres mine.

TIME-OUTTTTT!!!!!

so yea.

it must be a new moon

got the beast all out.

in a drought...

sex is on my mind 25/8/366

shittt got me committing playa fouls.

got me apologizing to girls.

being extra nice.

i even blew up this jawns phone.

rekindling old flings.

a nigga almost in double bonus.

i'll be teched up if i start M-bating.

...im going to get a hooker.

or put myself on craigslist.

match.com

shit.

shit i might as well start here.

come.

guuhhhlll

you know you wants some o' this!

you know you want blow my whistle.

some sexytime.

rock my mic.

come be my sexy plumber.

special massage?

suhky suhky?

phucky phucky?

5 dolla?

hmmmm?

c'mon.

bringyosmexayass.

:|

yum yum.

yes.

i smoked yesterday.

water bombs.

did like 4 of em.

im still high at this moment.

crazzzyyy mannggg.

but yea.

i feel like im in TiVo.

cause like errthang goes so fast.

yet. time is sooooo slow.

wow.

i feel like the flash.

but yea.

i smoked like a half.

between me and my boy.

so thats alot.

especially waterbombs.

cause yea.

all vaporss bayybeeee.

but i just wanted to let y'all know.

im high.

:)

Good Times!

Da dum da dum da dum da dum.

iPhone screen is crrraaacckkkeed.

GOOD TIMES!

i just lost my room key.

GOOD TIMES!

dropped out one of my classes.

GOOD TIMES!

geeeettinng drunk on tuesdays.

GOOD TIMES!

i got dirty suitemates!

GOOD TIMES!

allergies is fucked uppppp.

GOOD TIMES!

something something somethanggg!

GOOOOODD TIMMMEESSSS!!!!!

aren't i lucky i got em.

dum dum dum dum dum da.

GOOD TIMEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......YEA!

Men are the new women.

lol my life i tell you.

why some nigga tryna fight me over some chick that i dont want or aint even mine?

girl'n ass niggas i tell you!

so he dated this chick. they lightswitch luvvin.

and she like me.

so....how it happened

me and her chill

just met her, gave her a chance, and that was that,

we got the same class n shit so we did a paper together.

sooo anyways this nigga run up in her room(mind you there not "together")

and finds a box of condoms.

WHOA!

lol yea i said that too.

come to find out she fuckin some other nigga and got caught in a lie and threw my name in the mix so she could hide the other niggas name.

sooo this niggas spazzin' sayin i disrespected him since i know him.

i know OF this nigga.

saying since i know him I SHOULD'VE ASKED HIM!!!

overcontrollin'assnigga.

he aint my peoples and i aint tryna fuck, his girl is.

:|

girls aint nothing but trouble. i tell you

oh. kinda forgot to mention.

this nigga 6'7, 230+

:|

i got hands, but would've carved that nigga like a thanksgiving turkey.

fuck that.

Valentine's day massacre.

So, my previous thoughts of valentine's day jumped out the motherfucking window.

and you ask why?

For once again my worthless father, has become even more worthless.

Lmao i guess since theres so much love in the air, its a great basis to tell your son(me) that he has a brother. I cannot believe this motherfucker.

I've lived a life as a lie?

Had a brother who's older then me.

Lived down the street from me my whole life?

All the days i asked why am i a only child, can i have a bro or sis, i actually did?

Or how i was told to "tell everything, i'll never hide a thing, i love you son."

Fucking hypocrite.

Its a fucking wrap.

I have no feelings for this "brother" of mine, for i went 19 years told an only child.

The mentality of an only child.

The life of a only child.

I do me.

Did me.

And done me my whole fucking life.

Came out fucking great. 

So for this nigga to txt me.

"hey i'm andre, and i'm your brother"

Felt surreal.

lol my life like a fucking movie i swear.

But hey.

Its valentine's day.

Spread the motherfucking love.

reformation.

Well....i lost the battle with myself.

but i left it all on the table.

i've always aspired to do such with and acclaim myself to a new goal.

it has been postponed.

i did not do my best last semester and therefor suffer the consequences now

i tried extremely hard to bite my pride, somewhat lower myself, and open to others and i finally did. and all was going well. until i was .01 away for being able to do such.

i tried to hide it. but when i was called upon at the meeting.

the first question asked was. what's your GPA.

i swear. everything went black. and this bright ass light was shone upon me. 

i was stuck.

i knew it wasn't to the standards. but i had a epiphany and proceeded to blackout and spit the truth. 

i knew i couldnt, but i made myself go as a "self punishment"

to see what i can become, and who my comp is.

and he asked me a bunch of questions portraying myself:

"why are you here"

"what can you bring"

"why do we need you"

"what is your greatest and worst weakness"

upon other self evaluating questions that most i answered but some i could not,

for i never asked myself these things...or at least to portray to others.

and in turn. i told him. he knew i knew that it wasn't possible.

i had planned on lying cause i was called out in front of 40+

and that this is something i want. i knew that being there, my face was seen and if i was able to throw my flag of self shame in front of nobodys and i still feel better with myself knowing i keep my word as a man and tell the truth no matter, i know i can and will be better then you all when i cross.

he was more shocked that i told the truth.

i had new found respect from this man and these brothers i wish to call my own.

even though i took this defeat, i came out the winner.

Oh well. there is always next year.

But anywho,

the real reason I'm here. i've finally dedicated myself.

school is FIRST!

i know i said that before but now its meant cause after what happened above.

i've disappointed myself on a whole new level.

but its what i needed. i've gotten back on track.

cut drinking' never smoked alot before, but its pretty much gone now.

no girls unless they come my way, or they are some that i can "entertain" myself to.

i mean i am a guy, and this ain't jail.

After about a week or such of seclusion and some prayer and meditation, I'm a more calmer person.

still sarcastic(sorry you carl thomas emotional ass niggas)

but i find myself listening to more neo-jazz, and surprisingly instrumentals.

they allow me to wander more, catch a tune with myself.

i've scheduled myself to be busy with school on fridays and saturdays(R.A duties etc.)

so social is there but with a academic purpose.

While i was unpacking some mementos and posters to spice up my wack ass room, 

i saw all the cards my family and friends gave me and my pictures.

they want me to succeed more then me.

if i cant do it for myself.

at least for the FEW people who invest in me.

they deserve this. 

Sneakerhead anonymous.

Hi, my name is chris, and im addicted to sneakers.

-Hello chris(chorus)

Well, first and for most.

i just spent 700 on sneakers in about 1 week and some change.

-gasp.

Yea, i know just got back to school too

i had about 300 beans to start for books.

then told the fam the usual "expensive book" tale.

flipped that to about 300 more.

then i got my other check from my second job for 200.

i only got one book so far. got the other two for free.

-so chris, what did you buy???

Ummm, some SB dunks, 

and my holy sweet 12.8 once baby jesus w/ mary and joseph 

and the three wisemen bearing gift in the manger of grails.

but i have started my in-school business selling clothes and shoes.

-oh, well was it worth it?

Yes. cause my mom is coming down saturday with home-cooked food, 

MORE money and....

-and what?

...Brownies...mmmmmm*goes into convulsions* 

-OMG get him water!!!!

:|

19 years later....its over.

well...i'm a self proclaimed bastard.

after a horrific email i received....

i've cut all ties from my father.

i have lost my love for this man.

yet i still love him.

but after 19 years, and many years of speculation.

the truth is set in stone....well a email.

i wanted to cry. but all i could do is laugh.

for my raw emotion and gut feeling took over.

i knew it all along, he wasnt shit.

my mother, whom i love so much that i feel this tattoo isn't big enough.

for 19 whole years, 

she lowered herself to raise this man

and tried to hide from me.

and she would've, and this would still be speculation

if this nigga wasnt dumb enough to forward me the message she poured to him.

but jan, 14 is the day. where my love for him lays.

Today,

I finally realized your not shit.

R.I.P dad.

Round two.

yea......

just got back to school

got my comp and shiddd setup

currently unpacking all my shoes.

lmao almost had to take two cars to get the shoes here.

sad....

anyways.

got registered mad early....saw some new jawns...

should be fun.

second time around.

Change.

Yea i believe its time for such.

I got my eye on some i talk to, for i can actually talk to them.

I know... surprising right?!?

More then just the same lines people use as a barrier of trust to see if your "fuckable"

lol i cant even fathom the last time i had someone for my own.

Yea...i talk to numerous females.

Yea...some of you think i cheat even though your not committed until its on your finger and in writing.

But even with such, people still do it.

In college, 4 years to act out and the rest of it to find and settle down with someone.

Hey. maybe i need a lil taste test,

always nice to have that one, even if i were bad.

I'll let karma play that day.

But at the end of my lonely night. i'm just living my life.

...maybe its time i wonder what living for someone else is like...

*sigh*

BUT THESE GIRLS AINT GIVING SHIT TO LOOK FOR!

HA!

new year fool.

def. went out unlike i thought.

it was mad fun.

i was DD.

No drinking for me(well a lil')

but it was allllll good.

i've come to realize that my white girl game has completely fallen off.

with all the techno music, beer pong, and PDA.

i was distracted beyond belief.

oh well i got my girl one call away.

but yea.

slackin' on that white girl mackin'

anywho.

Happy new year :)